I call them sick days. Other people have other names for them, some call them flare ups, some call them bad days. Call it what you want; I call it a sick day. Just like a normal person would have a day where they don’t feel well and opt to watch movies on the couch all day, except my sick days are spent laying on the couch, setting guidelines to my husband for when he is allowed to take me to the hospital.
Anyways yesterday was a sick day. I have had plenty of sick days recently but this was a bad one. This day was accompanied with some of the worst abdominal pain I have ever felt in my life, nausea, headache, and vomiting. Twice I passed out from pain while laying on the couch.
I know you’re probably thinking right now WHY DIDN’T YOU GO TO THE HOSPITAL?! The answer is; because there is never anything they can do for me. They would do scans, find nothing. They would offer me pain meds and I would have to weigh the pros and cons; is temporary relief worth days of constipation, bloating, and pain? They might even offer me morphine, but my blood pressure is so chronically low that morphine makes it dangerously low; is that pain relief worth feeling like my heart isn’t beating?
They would have drawn blood, done scans, charged my insurance and my parents a butt load, and come up with nothing. So I don’t go, I hold off as long as I can. The only thing that will make me go to the hospital is anything to do with my heart, blood pressure, or dehydration (because when you have POTS, dehydration is life threatening very quickly).
Anyways, enough of the background. This isn’t meant to be a bitch session.
What I have to say the day after a sick day is two things. One, I am tired.
Two, I am thankful.
I am thankful for a husband who will pick me up off the floor, and carry me to bed. Who will wait on me hand and foot, anticipate my every need, and listen to me, and trust my opinion about when I need medical attention. I am thankful that he knows me, and has been on this journey with me long enough to understand (as best as any of us can) what is happening.
I am thankful for parents who never ever think about the money, before they think about my well being. Who pay all of my medical bills, even though that is not a financial burden that they need right now. Who always say “go as soon as you need to” not “hold off as long as you can”.
I am thankful for health insurance, because God only knows where I would be without it today.
I am thankful for a puppy who doesn’t leave my side when she knows I am sick.
But more than anything I am thankful for the good days, because I know what the bad days are, and even if the ratio is 6-1 sometimes, the good days are worth every single sick day.